So the dog, his eyes full of accusation, stared at me from the depths of his plastic cone of shame.  Lying on the carpet, not understanding what had happened that morning, he wondered what he ever did to me that I would treat him in such a horrible manner.

The truth is I didn’t mean him any harm – it’s just something that needed to be done.  Rod got neutered.  It was the right thing to do; even if he disagrees.

Bob Barker could’ve explained it to him, but Rod’s too young to have ever seen Bob on TV.  And he won’t listen to a skinny Drew Carey.

Slightly lighter, and in no danger of winding up in one of those special man-pain clips on America’s Funniest Home Videos, Rod curled up in the corner, unable to lick his wounds.  Occasionally, he got up, bumping the cone on furniture and doorways, to get a drink of water or eat some food that had somehow lost the heavenly scent and rich flavor that whole dogs get to enjoy.

The vet had prescribed a ton of pain medication, and Joan, sympathetic to the poor dog’s misery, made sure I kept him well dosed.  As Rod dozed off in a cloud of medicated ignorance, I opened a beer and turned on the TV.  The news was reporting the results of the Florida Primary.

That got me to thinking.

Anybody who is a politician, wants to be a politician, or is vaguely thinking that they might run for office sometime in the future should be sterilized immediately.  These are not the sort of folks we want reproducing.

If they already have offspring, the children should be put in camps and monitored.  If, at any time, they develop any political aspirations, then they should be made sterile as well.

I know…it sounds like what the Nazis did, but don’t you agree?

Speaking of evil Nazi-stuff, Mitt Romney hates Holocaust survivors.  At least, that’s what a recorded message that was circulating around Florida by an auto-dialing phone campaign said.

According to the Huffington Post, when some folks in Florida picked up their phone last week, they heard the following message from the Gingrich campaign: “As governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney vetoed a bill paying for kosher food for our seniors in nursing homes.  Holocaust survivors, who for the first time, were forced to eat non-kosher, because Romney thought $5 was too much to pay for our grandparents to eat kosher.  Where is Mitt Romney’s compassion for our seniors?”  And it signed off with “Paid for by Newt 2012.”

Not only is this a sad and terrible campaign strategy, it’s not true.  Romney did veto a bill that would’ve provided $600,000 additional state funding to nursing homes so they could continue to prepare kosher meals on site rather than bring them in from another location.  No seniors were ever forced to eat non-kosher, and the Massachusetts legislature overturned the veto anyway.

Newt said that he didn’t know anything about the calls.

Another thing that Newt’s people did that he claims he wasn’t aware of is assault a Ron Paul supporter in front of the place where he voted.

According to Yahoo News, last Tuesday, a guy named Eddie Dillard was standing outside his polling place, holding a Ron Paul sign, wearing a “Ron Paul Rocks America” t-shirt and flip-flops.  When Newt showed up for a photo op, he chose to stand right in front of Eddie.

Newt’s security guys tried to make Eddie move, and when he wouldn’t, one of them stomped on his foot and dug his heel into the bare skin.  When he still wouldn’t go away, a Gingrich campaign aide said, “Everyone step on his toes.”

Eddie’s foot is fractured, and Ron Paul is demanding an apology.  Newt’s campaign has yet to respond.

Now it seems like I’m picking on Newt.  Other politicians do equally bad and disturbing things.  After all, they’re politicians.  But these stories caught my eye last week.  And besides, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use the headline Newtered.

I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.